Musings
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Writing your signature under duress
Sign your name, write V.C. next to it. In basic terms: this is a signal that you were coerced Vi coactus | Latin for “under duress.” Having been compelled by force. Assuming you’re dealing with opposing parties that can reason with each other instead of fight emotionally, you’d think this would…
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Why are you making it harder on yourself?
You should be making it easier on yourself and helping/guiding others to make it easier on themselves. Be free. Think fondly when you want to demonize. (instead of, and as a first instinct) Everyone is how they are because of their unique challenges. Let them live and enjoy. I don’t…
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Standardizations are made for people to “understand” each other
As if. It’s just another way to avoid accountability. But I’m not looking to be understood. So I communicate how I want, and see fit. And if you happen to understand, then you’re who I’m talking to. If you don’t understand exactly what I mean, how can my story possibly…
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This too shall pass
The good and the bad, the struggle and the ease. For better or better or worse or worse, it will all pass. There’s relief in that. You may feel down and desperate, and this too shall pass. You may feel high and floating and joyful, and that too shall pass.…
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Psilocybin experience
I don’t think there’s enough acclaim I can share about taking shrooms. Whether it’s a macrodose (my fave) or a microdose, I’ve had such great experiences with it, that I always suggest the practice to anyone who’s seriously looking to try it for self development reasons, and a desire for…
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If you’re asking “why,” it’s because you want to control.
Or you want to feel like you have it. Accept how something is, and move on. Do you actually want to say that anyone in the world “drove you” to do anything—not in your own control? Fighting the world for scraps? Where does that come from? Is it low or…
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Be the niche you want to see in the world
I need a space for writings, nebulous musings, unsolicited advice, and talk therapy for all the versions of my soul. A way to relive and experience the contrasts, and even come to accept the abstract and sometimes infuriatingly paradoxical nature of life. A place for expression without the need for…
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Desperate for freedom
I’ve failed you. I’m still lost. I don’t really know who I am without you. I keep thinking—I keep deluding myself—that somehow I’ve processed everything. But really, I’ve only been taking advantage of my lack of object permanence. If you don’t see someone, or something often, you get used to…
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When helping becomes pathological
Lately, I’ve been wondering a lot: What am I doing? What is my actual damage? This zealousness to help others—to solve problems—is it possible to go too far? When my loved ones complain enough, at one point I can’t just listen. I have to try solving it for them if…
