Peace
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This too shall pass
The good and the bad, the struggle and the ease. For better or better or worse or worse, it will all pass. There’s relief in that. You may feel down and desperate, and this too shall pass. You may feel high and floating and joyful, and that too shall pass.…
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If you’re asking “why,” it’s because you want to control.
Or you want to feel like you have it. Accept how something is, and move on. Do you actually want to say that anyone in the world “drove you” to do anything—not in your own control? Fighting the world for scraps? Where does that come from? Is it low or…
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The day I died
The audacity. I had peacefully made my exit, and all these cretins had “things to say” about my choice. I hated those asinine articles when I was alive… “So and so did _________, sparking debate.” So self-important were these lazy internet debaters. Because I gave a fuck what they argued…
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Desperate for freedom
I’ve failed you. I’m still lost. I don’t really know who I am without you. I keep thinking—I keep deluding myself—that somehow I’ve processed everything. But really, I’ve only been taking advantage of my lack of object permanence. If you don’t see someone, or something often, you get used to…
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There is no tomorrow
A while ago, I had a couple days of feeling intense types of ways. Anything and everything I was trying to do was just not working out. Obstacle, inconvenience, and challenge after infuriating challenge—with seemingly no way else that things could possibly get resolved. As I was taking a walk and fuming…
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Everyone is going to break your trust
Not everyone necessarily because they mean to, but because sometimes we really can never know another person’s feelings, thoughts, or expectations of us. And maybe you had expectations that you didn’t communicate. So, it’s not that they broke your trust. They broke the illusion of what you thought you had…
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What even is existing?
I want to cry. Cry my eyes out until I feel nothing about any of the bullshit anymore. Maybe then I’d hate that I was numb. But wouldn’t that be better than this? But my body won’t do it. It won’t cry right now. Usually when I feel this bad…
Ava Loreimy 